4 things I’ve had to give up to be happy

Welcome to another blog post on the HephzyBee Blog. Its being a while since I put up a blog post. And I feel really bad. #SadFace.

My life just became soooo busy. A few of you actually reached out to me and am grateful for that. The thrill I get from putting my thoughts, life and generally sharing online and knowing that you guys out there read, comment and are always eager to hear from me. Some people even call me by my blog name. It is amazing. Thanks so much for all the love guys.

By God’s grace, am going to do better. To be sincere, I have a number of pending blog post and interviews, #screaming. I really think I need a P.A self #winks

But before 2017 ends, lets enjoy some blog post.

2017 has being a very tremendous year for me, oh my world! It’s been my most challenging and fulfilling year so far. I have had to Learn, ReLearn and UnLearn many things. Plus, I’ve had a thousand and one reasons to be sad and very very unhappy. I have literally suffered the loss of a loved one, being broke, locked up myself in my room, shed some really big tears, switched off my phone, disconnected from people, screamed at some people, gave someone a dirty slap, made some nice food and some days, just lived on garri and noodles, its being a challenging year but yet I still enjoyed every bit and am still enjoying every bit of 2017. It’s like a bitter- sweet pill. Plus, yeah, I have had my heart broken….hummmmm, I won’t furnish you guys with the gist yet.

So in all, how come I am still happy right?  What did I give up to be happy?

hppy

The reality is this, Happiness is a choice and you have to pursue it. So quickly, am going to share with you 4, only 4 things I’ve had to give up to be happy. It can be challenging to let go of the things that are weighing you down but very freeing at the same time. I hope me sharing my experiences with you gives you courage to do the same in your life.

The Number 1 thing I’ve had to give up on to be happy……

I gave up on sentiments;

You see many of us are too sentimental. Sentimental about every  and anything.  Lets take a quickie to the dictionary. The Encarta dictionary defines sentiment as “a calculated appeal to feeling or emotion, especially one that is excessive and unreasoning.’ To be happy, I gave up ALL my sentiments. Abegi, who sentiments help?

sentemtal

I gave up my sentiments about my habits, people, places, religion, tribes, clothes and life, everything. I became logical. I didn’t have to be mawkish. I have to face reality. Like my coach said “faith is acknowledging your present circumstance while knowing with absolute assurance that you will come out victorious”. I gave up on personal sentiments, on my excuses about things, my excuses for things, my sentiments about pains, my sentiments about people, my religious sentiments, every kind of sentiments I could think of. I decided to be honest with myself. I stopped the excuses. I stopped the blame game. Was this hard? Oh yes it was! But was it liberating, you bet it was. I became free. I became Happy. No sentiments, No Expectations. Plenty Happiness!

 

Number 2 thing I’ve had to give up on to be happy……

I gave up on Worry!

Mbok, who worry help? All the worry, you have being worrying where has it landed you? I quit worrying what to eat, wear, go, who to do this and that for, how to get this and that done. I learnt to stretch my faith. I just pray about the isssh, made positive confessions and I moved on. In Rhonda Byrna’s word “Ask, Believe and Receive”.  Operating from this place of rest has liberated me. I’ve lost count of the number of times, this has worked for me.  One particular incident I recall vividly, I needed some big money, as a matter of fact, there was a deadline. A day to the deadline, I didn’t even have the money. Then I was just speaking casually with a friend, I mentioned to him that the next day was the deadline for the payment and I was trusting God to pay before the deadline. He was so alarmed at the peace I had.

worry

It was funny because I was the one calming him down that God will provide. How? I didn’t know and I wasn’t going to worry about it.  Anyway, I just laughed the need off, kept working hard and confessing and thanking God for the provision, did he do it? Oh yes he did it, Right on time. I paid the money before the deadline.  So to be happy, I gave up on worry.  All I do is Ask God in prayers, Believe in my heart and Receive with my hands. Simple!

 

Number 3 thing I’ve had to give up on to be happy……

Toxic Relationship

This is a very sensitive one. You see I realized that people are for times and seasons in your life. You need to know when their season is over in your life. It can be challenging to let go sometimes but in your best interest you have to. To a large extent, God has blessed me with good friends but there are still a few toxic relationships or people you meet from time to time. So you have to continuously shift the good from the bad. I have had to let go of people who over time I have come to realize they were draining me. To be sincere, this is easier said than done. They are people whose company you enjoyed so much but logically speaking are not taking you anyway near your goals. Now, shifting them is very challenging. Trust me, they always come back to play the blame game but you have to move past that. Destiny is not emotional.  The day I put up a whatsapp status that people come around you because they need you, some folks felt I was too mean. But the reality is, I don’t go around people I don’t need as well. The challenge is when people USE you. So here’s what I did and I will still do to protect my happiness. When I feel a person has “USED” me, so to say, I deal with that reality. So, no matter how tough and hard it is, I simpIy MOVE on.

toxic relationship

Figuratively speaking, its like having a meal you enjoy eating so much but immediately after the meal you spend the next hours or days in the toilet. Really! That waste of too much energy, I cant deal. I rather avoid the food like a plague. Long story short, I gave up on toxic relationships to be happy.

 

Number 4 thing I’ve had to give up on to be happy……

 I gave up being too hard on myself.

You see too many of us are too hard on ourselves. Stretch no doubt but celebrate every turn of success, you have. Yeah, new year is eminent, you probably have some unachieved goals and I bet you are already being too hard on yourself. Truth is, you have to live and let others live. Before, I will literally kicked myself in the butt for not putting out a blog post but I realized, I didn’t have to be so hard on myself. I have been working really hard on other projects, I miss blogging  but I have other pressing things to attend to which cannot wait. I was so busy, I realize I needed to take a break. I didn’t have to be too hard on myself. Am a big dreamer no doubt but I have to love and be compassionate on myself. I needed to rest when I am supposed to. I need to allow some slack. I learnt the power of retreating. I gave up on punishing myself for some bad choices I made. Many people still do. We make a bad decision and it almost like all hell broke loose. That has to stop. I laughed at myself for the mistakes I made.

Hephzy and Father Christmas.jpg
I can play fa. This was at the Sunday school Christmas Party. Off cause, the father Christmas is my paddy and he is jasi…My dress was made by Gabriella Fashion House. Loving the Ankara Detailing on it.

I realized God loved me even more than I loved myself or anyone could. I realize, God loves and accepts my faults, flaws and all. So I stopped being too hard on myself. We all have our elasticity point. I pursue excellence and not necessarily been unkind to myself. I summarized not being hard on myself as, that was just an experience, pick the lessons and move on. No need crying over spilt malt.

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This offShoulder ankara top is bae. It was made by Datina Designs.

Now, am at peace with myself, am happy, I make mistakes, I learn, I move on, I don’t cry after the past  and am just great, I stretch within my elasticity point, I love myself, am compassionate with myself. I live and let other live.

So guys, that’s that. Four things I’v had to give up to be happy. I hope me sharing my experience with you gives you courage to do the same with your life. Am sending loads of love. If I can, then you can.

Would love to hear from you, things you have had to give up on to be happy.

Remember, live life fabulously inspired.

NB: If this is your first time on the blog, kindly check previous blog post.

 

 

17 thoughts on “4 things I’ve had to give up to be happy

  1. Yeah! So nice to read your excerpt on things you gave up. I agree with that part of people showing up at particular seasons. But then how can one deal with the guilt of using that person for that season. I’m just being logical here.

    1. I think the ..the blog post actually answered that,if you don’t mind me creeping in..she said.”I gave up being too hard on myself”..if one feels guilt for using someone…the the first phase is to accept the guilt..meaning you don’t ever want to feel that way again…mistakes,wrongdoings are all learning processes…it is when you stop being too hard on yourself..that you start becoming the person you ought to be..the imperfect person..with the good intention…and that’s what counts at the end of the day…realising you can make mistakes..and also that you can always make amends…cheers mate

  2. Finally..a blog post from hephzybee…lovely post as usual…like the sentiments dropping part..trust me the feeling and freedom from doing so is priceless…

  3. My my my! First of you’ve got an amazing smile. The kind that can make anyone smile #I did. Secondly, I love the way you express your self through your writing.
    You will do great things if you continue like this. Find your comfort center and stay there, you are free to diversify if you want to but never fail to be you.
    This is beautiful and I’m you are better off without the things you gave up.
    Happy Holidays to you and yours my dear.
    Keep writing your heart out.

  4. Very timely and needful. As we approach a new year, everyone also needs to look inward to check what should be given up so as to become better. It has been rightly said that certain things are to be given up in order to go up.
    So good you built the courage and determination to give up on those things and so nice you are magnanimous to share with your readers.
    In life there is always room for improvement on one’s personality. May God help us to continuously discover ourselves and make the right adjustments.
    Thank you Hephzybee.

  5. Great post! I liked how honest you were. I’m unnecessarily hard on myself too & that’s something I should stop. Focusing on the future all the time is another one – it stops me from enjoying the present.

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