Much ado about Mothers-in-Law

Hi lovelies,

Trust ya doing good? So today’s blog post is on mothers-in-law.

Disclaimer: am not yet married but that doesn’t disqualified me from talking about Mothers-in-Law. I have two eyes plus I wear eyes glasses, so technically that’s four eyes… #Winks

Truth be told there are so many myths and stories surrounding mothers in laws. A discussion ensued about Mothers-in-Law. Only very few of the contributors had good testimonials about their Mothers-in-Law.  Most had negative comments about them. Again, throwback to some days ago, a dear friend also put up a post about Mothers-in-Law. The issue mainly was that most mothers in law are always encroaching on their sons/daughters homes.

moth

In a friend’s words

You will be surprised the way women paint their mother in laws …it takes the grace of God not to pray for the death of a mother in law one hasn’t even met.

moda

My take on that is? If your pray for the death of your mother in law, just remember the law of karma, your children are going to marry someday too… #eyesrolling

For the purpose of this post, mother in law will be called MIL, while daughter in law will be DIL. Like I discover, both daughters in laws and son in laws have their share of the MIL shit. Although, it seems a bigger deal on the part of women.

As in, it’s such a big deal. The stories and experiences are really scary so I never forgot to pray to God to please bless me with loving and accepting in laws. I strive to always keep a positive mental attitude about MIL and husband family ish.

love mother in law

So here is my open love letter:

My Dear future Mother in law,

Thank you for raising a goodly man for me to marry, thank you for loving and accepting me as your daughter and correcting me in love. I love you.

 Signed,

your daughter in love.

In Africa, the mother- in-law is the god. Undoubtedly, mothers are gods. Mothers are golden, mothers are amazing. Mothers carry children in the womb for 9 months. make enormous sacrifice for the growth of the kids.  God bless Mothers.

However, Mothers should learn to love and accept their daughters in laws like their daughters.

mother

I think most mothers always want to baby their children, …you hear words like I carried him in my womb for 9 months, blah! blah! Forgetting that the moment he’s married he has started a new life hence there should be no encroachment.  It’s your son’s house not your husbands’ house. . Some mothers even see their DIL as a competition which should not be so.

I think I have an hypothesis to support that MIL see their DIL as competition. I really feel most mothers get so used to their children, many even forget to adequately care for their husbands (a guy had one complained to me that most women literally pour all their love on their children to the detriment of their husbands) so they become so attached to their kids.

 

mil

Sadly the thing with a mother’s eye is she never really sees her kids as grown up. She still always wants to care and baby them. So, when his wife or husband comes she still wants to have control over him. It’s almost like someone competing for his love with her.  Also, most mothers don’t realize nor prepare themselves adequately for that phrase of their life. And quite sadly, there is already an emotional gap between them and their husbands so there is hardly any where to fall back to. Then they start to see their kids as ungrateful, his wife as insensitive and unaccommodating blah.blah….

mil2

Here is my advice to daughters in law, Yeah, I know all the shit about some MIL being monsters and all. But you also have a part to play. We know how mothers love to dote in their children. You will also have children and you probably already have one of some. So, it’s just natural that they feel like their child is being taken away them and most of them probably aren’t prepared for that phrase of life. So as wives, Rule 1: Watch your mental attitude about MIL.

Rule 2: Please be patience and understanding.

Rule 3: Love! Love! Love! Love conquers all.

I heard the story of a DIL who had a monstrous MIL. She made life a living hell for her. But the DIL kept loving, respecting and taking care of her. Then the MIL took ill. Everyone even her daughters practically abandoned her. But this DIL took care of her even in her sick bed. Before she died, the MIL apologies and even bequeathed most of our valuables to the DIL. When the lady (DIL) narrated her ordeal in the hands of her (MIL) I was close to tears when I heard the story but her love and patience paid off. Thanks to having a supportive husband tho (that’s talk for another day).

Finally brethren (in my pastor’s voice)

mol

I think the whole mother in law thing is based on perception and mostly experiences wives have had in the hands of some mother in laws. Nevertheless, one should just pray to have a good mother in law. Also, work on being a good daughter in law.

Whats your take?

Please feel free to share, repost and drop your comments…..

 

24 thoughts on “Much ado about Mothers-in-Law

  1. Lovely write up. I’ve had a not so good experience with a supposed MIL.. I’ve learnt alot. Looking forward to meeting by lovely MIL… #smiles

  2. Lovely write up! There are still MIL with golden hearts out there . God bless mine for me. I am more than blessed to have her in my life.

  3. I think many times people have this misconception based on hearsay and first hand experience with their parents.

    But we can always tell God what we want and treat our MIL like our own mom. I know it may not be easy especially if you have a MIL that is used to ruling her home and a wife that likes controlling her pwn space too, the friction may arose from there.

    But as two adult with a mutual interest (the son/child), we may need to have a point of agreement at some point and if all these fails, the DIL should speak to her husband about it in a way that it wont seem you are disrespecting his mom or can’t stand her.

    http://www.debwritesblog.com

  4. Nice post 💜 I have heard lots of stories about mother-in-laws and it’s scary, most especially if the hubby in question is a mama’s boy. I just pray mine will be awesome when the time comes, because I know my mother is an Angel.

  5. This is very insightful. You’re right MIL do get a bad rep. I have 3 brothers and my mom gives their wives so much trouble! I honestly feel bad for them sometimes. And praying for your MIL – before you get one – is a great idea!

  6. Just like you said putting u a positive attitude towards mother in-laws is good.When I got married there is nothing I do that pleased my mother but I continued loving her and giving her respect .There was a day I cooked and she told my sister that the food I cooked is not presentable that I don’t know how to Cook .The question I asked my sis was did she finish her food she said yes I told my sis that is the food is that bad she will not finish it.To cut the long story today am he best daughter in-law if am around anything she wants to do she will tell them to call me.Respect your mother in-law no matter how bad she treats you cause you will be one one day.

    1. I so love the ending. “Respect your mother in law no matter how bad she treats you cause you will be one one day” that’s so deep. Thanks ma’m. Am grateful you stopped by.

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