Today’s blog post is about first date for mature singles by that I mean single who are ready to mingle and probably marry.
Here in Nigeria, there is so much pressure on singles to get married particular once you are above 20 years, then when you are 25 or even 30 years old, it becomes worse. #TheThingsOurCultureDoes.
I discovered one of the reasons for many failed relationship is lack of knowledge. These tips are tested and trusted, though some may sound strange but hey doesn’t negate its validity.
Dressing: Choosing an outfit can very challenging and the temptation to overdress can be so strong but you have to resist it. Pick something comfortable. Wear colours that will accentuate your complexion. Avoid too tightly fitted clothing. Also, for make up, less is beautiful. Be smart and above all wear a smile. However, the venue of the date will actually determine or influence the choice of outfit.
Venue: this is quite tricky but I will recommend that the lady picks the venue. The reason is this, since it’s a first time date and you are just getting to meet this person so you don’t find yourself in a strange or unfamiliar territory. Pick the venue and make sure for a first time date, the venue is not his house. For a first time cinema date avoid seeing romantic movies. Don’t awake love until it’s ripe oh. See preferably a thought provoking movie- an intellectual movie that will get both of you talking. That way you can assess the person’s mental/intellectual capacity. For guys, even if you have seen a movie before if your first time date wants to see it. Kindly oblige her. Go see the movie with her. That will give you a good opportunity to study her. So while she is engrossed in the movie, you can take time to watch and study her as well as see the movie again. Then there is something that trips a lady about a guy obliging her and going with her to see a movie he has seen before #LittleThingsThatTripWomen. However, for a cinema date, make sure to arrive at least twenty minutes before the movie and be ready to stay atleast another 30 minutes after the movie so you can have some time to gist if not about other things but about the movie.
The conversation: This is very important. First date conversations require balance between getting to know someone and avoiding over familiarity. That means there are things you can talk about (like any mutual passions), and things you shouldn’t mention (at least at first, for example, your past relationship experiences). Just be genuine interested in meeting and knowing a new person especially because for starters, nothing is defined.
Your Countenance. Make sure to be of a joyful and happy countenance. Just go with a free mind. Be yourself. Be real. Be fun. Be observant. However, if your date is rude or unduly nice to the waiter, waitress or anyone, that’s a pointer. So you must tread with caution.
Payment: There is a very wrong assumption that the guy must pay all the bills at a date. Hence some ladies will make outrageous demands while on the date. You don’t want to pass off as a greed low life. Be modest. Guys, please don’t break a bank to take a lady on a date. Stay within your means. Importantly, for mature adults on a first time date, you can go Dutch (meaning the guy doesn’t have to pay all the bills, share the bills, just take it as you are going to meet a friend).
A research was carried out on who pays the bills during a first date by the Chapman University. The researchers found that 64% of men want women to pay more often – but that 76% of men feel guilty accepting women’s money. Meanwhile, over half of women always offer to pay, but 39% feel upset if that offer gets accepted. Essentially, there’s no right answer, so do what makes you comfortable – just don’t offer to split the bill unless you’re genuinely happy to do so!
Timing: Avoid late night date. Don’t keep the guy waiting for long. Show up on tip. Plan your tip very well. However, if you have to cancel or reschedule the date. Please inform either of the party as early as possible with genuine reasons.
I consider this tip to be most important.
Be real. Be yourself. No pretenses. HAVE FUN. Don’t have expectations. Your date might or might not lead to a relationship. But it ok. Yes be content with having fun and be genuine interested in knowing the person.
can I recommend this book. its such a life-saver.
so thats my seven tips for a first time date.
So, have you had a first date experience, what tips will you add. Looking forward to hearing from you.
BTW: Will you love to read more dating and relationship post on the blog, please let me know in the comment section.
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